DON'T KNOW

Robbie just doesn't know what to do. His head and heart are in a constant battle, and it looks like it will be one to the death. The thought of putting himself out there again is completely frightening. But if he doesn't then how will he know what living is? Questions and doubts are overflowing his thoughts, completely consuming him in worry and wonder. Robbie just doesn't know what to do.

MAKING MY WAY

The freezing wind forced me to tighten the scarf around my face. I had never been very fond of the cold and now I hated it more than ever. My long, blonde hair swirled around my face clashing with the brightly colored scarf; it had been a going away present from my step sister. The going away wasn't my idea of course; instead I was outvoted by my mother and new step father. But I didn't want to think about that as I tried to dodge the snow that quickly came down on me. Instead I focused my attention on grabbing a taxi to get away from the train station. As the driver started going I was again reminded how badly I get motion sickness. All throughout the train ride here I was constantly in the restroom trying my best to not throw up, and the strange odor of the car was not helping. So, in order to not feel so disgusting I looked outside the window. Huge mountains were being covered with even more snow; just the site of it made me shiver.

DIDN'T MATTER

He was on his knees with that grin on his face as he looked up at me. His puffy eyes showed that he had been crying as well. But it didn't matter. We had our time. The thought of seperation caused both of our hearts to ache but it didn't matter. As I stared into those lovely, wet eyes tears fell from mine. But it didn't matter. We both knew this was right and now we had to except it.

HAND

The stinging was what woke me up.
A red scar had appeared on my palm
Shortly after it had been
Placed in the fire.
Now, with bandages trying to ease the pain
It became useless. So I lay on the bed,
Staring at the covered hand.

JOHN SAW

The sliver of light from the hallway exposed the room’s content. There was only a small bed tucked in the corner and a simple dresser on the opposite side of the room. John's eyes teared up as he saw several small children sleeping peacefully on the rusty bed without a blanket. Slowly he closed the door, making sure to not wake them. He continued down the narrow hallway to the other room only to find the same scene. But this room was different, there was not a dresser causing the floor to have a small pile of clothes. Older children were snuggled in this bed with a thin material of cloth over them. John quietly shut the door and walked back to the dirty kitchen with tears running down his face.

DARKNESS

Darkness.
   Whispers
      echoed
         throughout
            the small
               room.
                 
               Not
            wanting to
         leave I
      sat there,
   in the
darkness.

CUT

She looked at herself in the mirror long and hard, stroking her lengthy hair. Ever so slowly as if to make it more dramatic she picked up the scissors. Tears filled her eyes as she made the first fatal cut. Long streaks of hair fell to the ground soon creating a large pile. The constant snipping sound filled the air along with downfall of that luscious hair. After the painful process was over she looked tentatively in the mirror, almost afraid of what she will see. Now the gorgeous long hair was replaced by a butchered and extremely short style. But no tears flowed as she looked in the mirror.

BOREDOM

Boredom trickled down. It consumed all in its path causing a flow of yawns. With nothing to do, they sat. Pretending to listen was more difficult than understanding so they just allowed boredom settled in.

ALWAYS LEAVE

The silence was what made it worse. He wished anything for just one familiar sound as he walked through the quiet night. Hollowed memories left him with a hole of absence, growing larger with every step. People always leave and his life was living proof of it. They never felt the urge to stay when the truth came out, the truth that wasn't applicable anymore. He had changed but no one would allow it to be so. And so he walked, always alone.

LOVE

Love a little,
It can change a lot.
Love a lot, and
It can change everything.

BLANK

No thoughts reached her mind as Susan sat and stared out the window. The constant downpour of rain seemed to wash out her mind creating only a puddle of water remaining. She simply couldn't think anymore, tired of hearing her own voice and the improbable ideas. Knowing what to do was never a skill that she possessed, despite her several tries. So Susan just sat and let the rain pour over her.

FEAR

The newly remembered fear caused her hands to shake. It had almost been forgotten until Jane was violently shoved back into reality. Questions of doubt and despair now invaded her mind with never ending mind games. She stumbled across the path, now not knowing which was the way to continue. Her torn brain ached as she tried to make sense of it all, tried to understand it. But comprehension had been consumed and her whole body shook with that fear.

THAT CHAIR

The large arm chair seemed to sink you in with its oversize cushions. You comfortably sat and were going to pondering the upcoming events but the sofa had melted your thoughts and questions away. Now only the relaxing tingle of comfort could be felt, no longer the worries of the previous day. Complete joy of the moment consumed you as your worries were simply washed away. And for a few moments you had peace.

DRIP, DRIP

Drip, drip. The soft drop of water is what kept Jake alive it seemed. He sat on the dirty floor listening to it. It never sped up or slowed down; it was always in a constant pattern. Drip, drip. Sometimes the droplets would be louder, some softer; but they were always there to occupy his silent scene. Drip, drip. It was the soothing awareness that he was still alive. Still alive to hear the steady water. Drip, drip. He didn't know where it came from, although Jake had tried to find the source of the sound many times. It seems like he searched everywhere in the small, dark room possible; no corner or dirt pile was unchecked. But the water was never found. Drip, drip. He knew that it would stop one day, that it would be quiet. The water seemed to bring him hope and when that was gone so would he. Drip.

THAT FAMILY

It was a time for rejoicing but no one had it in their hearts to anymore. Since that day, so many years ago the celebrations and festivities had ended. It wasn't the same and they all knew it never would be again. Even years after, the painful memories still haunted the happy season creating a dark hole for the once normal hopes and dreams. No one had put up decorations in years; it was just too painful a memory.
But then they moved in, the loud and rambunctious family with far too many children to count. Their bright hair set them apart from the rest of the block. They hadn't heard about the incident all those many years ago; after all no one had the nerve to talk about it. So the decorations went up causing them to be even more out of the ordinary. But they never seemed to notice; they would carry cookies to gifts to carols around the block. Many of the neighbors would cast their eyes away but the abnormal family would not be stopped.

THE MUSIC

The cheerful sound of music echoed the quiet hallway. A few of the students studying looked up to find where the strange noise was coming from, but many kept their eyes glued to the books as they crammed for upcoming tests. As the music grew louder the study faithful students began to become annoyed and remarks about it were starting to flow. But there was something to the music that those who were not angry with the thought of a break soon realized. The sounds were blended together with melody and character. Its soothing notes soon captivated the few students who weren't murmuring, causing them to want the music louder. And it grew to be that way as it filled the hallway, consuming everyone's thoughts. Several of the annoyed students packed up to leave but then it was silent. Sighs of relief and irritation went through the place as the students quickly went back to their studying. However, those who had enjoyed the music soon missed the soft peace it brought and yearned for it once again.

SUN DROP

Yellow, orange and pink was splattered across the sky as the sun gave up its last light. The fine, cool colors dripped onto the lake below, creating a magnificent scene. Thick clouds enhanced the image with the steady backdrop of rolling white glistened with a dark fiery color of the sun. The sky was lit up for one last moment and then it sunk behind mountains for the final time.

TOO NOT

             Just plain.
Not smart enough.
      Too shy.
         Not pretty enough.
Not strong enough.
 Too nice.
Not outspoken enough.
     Too thin.
             Not thin enough.
Too fat.
  Too young.
               Just not enough...

USED

He laid there used on the ground.
Curled up in a little ball, he tried
To forget what had happened.
Barely breathing,
He choked on tears streaking down
His dirty face,
Feeling left all alone.
He had known it would come but
Hadn't stopped it, and now
All he could do was cry.

PAST

Emma's stomach sank as she watched. The thought of those memories had been forgotten until that moment. The temperature was rising and her head was spinning. She couldn't think of anything else except for those days of the past. Why did she torment herself so much by thinking of it? But it was too late now. Now the only thing in Emma's mind was back then and the pain she felt along with it.

NUMBNESS

He now only had the room to cross. But the numbness slowly crept over his feet. This simply can't be happening he thought. But it was and he knew there was no way to stop it. He fell to the ground as his knees became useless. Pulling himself with his arms was the only option now and he slowly did so across the room. So close, he thought, it's just a bit further. Suddenly he could no longer feel his chest; his heart and breath were slowing if going at all. Only inches away now. He used his last possible ounce of strength to pull himself up to the counter but now the arms had been lost. It was right next to his ear and all he could do was watch while his head and brain became numb and lost.

LIVE LIFE

Live life as if it were the last day. Love the ones who you love more fully. Express your secret affection to that special someone. Go do what you've always wanted to. Don't have any regrets, but if you do simply fix them while you have time. Go do something. Live your life while you still have it. It's only yourself that you are hurting so why cause the pain? Make it go away and live to the fullest.

SHE

They lived in a beach house overlooking the sea. It had a view that she always dreamt of. She would simply look at it for hours in her days of solitude. Her husband was a pilot causing him to be gone more often than there but she didn't complain. Every now and then the silence would consume her and make her remember how alone she was. But she could always write the loneliness away. She was, after all, a writer on the side so the words came easily to her. Being good with words and writing was always her strong point, not like being alone. She secretly dreaded the absence of someone; not anyone to talk to or to simply hear. But she wouldn't tell her husband, he loved what he did and she simply would not get in the way of that. So she wrote and watched the waves crash against the rocks, waiting for him to come back.

LIGHT

Just for one second Sara saw the light. It had come by so fast that she almost believed it didn't happen. But she knew it had. And then it was gone. The moment of glory was over, leaving her in the darkness and to her own thoughts of that brilliant and split second of light.

SUN

The sun never looked brighter. It shone through the thin clouds giving the water a look of glass. Sunlight always seems to brighten everyone's day, regardless of how stressed or angry or sad. It seems to warm the inside of one’s soul as well as the out. And no matter how long or dark a night it always rises again, even after it sets. The sun always comes back.

IF ONLY'S

If only is a phrase that had been haunting his mind for some time now. He knew that he couldn't change or fix it; there was just no possible way. But his if only’s would not let it go that easily. If only he had said what he felt that night. If only he had been there earlier and been there more often. He should have acted more relaxed about it, not worried or rushed. If only he could relive the past and change the future because of it. But in the end he was just left with the pain and the thought of if only.

WHITE

It was coming down fast now. The wet snow filled the ground and air. Everything was white. It was as if I had strolled into one of my dreams again. In them I would peacefully walk around in the clouds. But this was reality. It was cold. The steady downpour was slashing out at my face instead of filling my thoughts with hope. My dreams had become genuine nightmares.

WHY

Why don't we remember them? Why have we shoved their memories out of existence? Why do we ignore those past experiences that we should cower with fear and anguish over? Why have we forgotten? Why do we revive and let these awful things happen? Why?!

TURN AROUND

In life, we can have a hard-hearted attitude. We stop doing the simple and daily things, then stop going, and then just stop all together. This slow progression, or regression, away can happen without us even knowing what's going on. However, we can have correcting moments in our lives, whether small or large. He sends things in our lives that help us to correct ourselves. This can be as simple as a person's example or as harsh and awakening as a leader's words of warning. But either way, we have to remember that we need to listen. He knows our potential; He knows what life has in store for us. And He knows that we can come back no matter how far we've gone. We just have to remember to listen and after we listen, to do.

BUT NOW

The walls were closing in,
Compacting tighter and closer.
But now there are no barriers to be seen,
Only the site of a fresh blue sky.
It used to be dark and rainy.
Night used to dwell in the day but
Now it is sunny.
The warmth lifts and comforts throughout the night.

HOPE

That feeling of a fleeting hope is what scared Tom the most. He didn't want to go back into that cycle, constantly thinking all is well right before it just blows up in his face again. It always seemed to happen. The thought that there could be a way for this to work made him feel excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. He twirled his pencil as he sat thinking about that little, but magnificent hope.

RAIN

You wake up to the soft pitter-patter of the rain. Its calming sounds soothe your half-asleep body. No hood would cover that face today, as you walked in the dark thinking of the wetness and it's comforts. Its funny how such a little thing can brighten your day, even when it seems so miserable and insignificant to those around you. Some people just don’t understand what they see, what they have.

CAN'T

She can't look at herself, can't bear the thoughts of her past memories coming up to haunt her once more. It had been years since those days, those mistakes. But even years later she cannot erase them from her memory, she can't get rid of what she did. She can't change how she acted. Anguish filled her stomach as she lay curled up on the floor. Her brain wouldn't leave her alone. She hit her head once more; trying to get the memories out. But they wouldn't come. She tries again and then again until she can't.

DREAMS

My dreams won't leave me alone. Whenever I close my eyes they are there, waiting in that darkness I cannot escape. Some people look forward to sleeping; they like their kind of sleep that takes them away from the world and lets them rest. But my sleeping is full of dreams and dreads that won't ever let go. When I wake up, I can't remember what they are but my mind won't stop thinking. They consume my thoughts of worry and stress controlling my entire day with dreams that I cannot remember. And at night I have to return to the dreaded dreams that won't let me go.

YOUR CHOICE

You have to decide. It's not that bad anyway, right? You have to be reassured that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Several instances have happened in the past to make you believe that and you now know better because of them. Remember? So, do you brush yourself off and keep going? Or lay about having a pity party with only yourself invited? Now it's time for you to choose.

DON'T THINK

With puffy eyes I laid there. The silence gave me time to think. I hate thinking though. It's as if my brain won't stop reenacting it. Over and over again. My head is swirling causing tears to swirl up as well. I can't believe I actually care about something this unimportant. It really is just silly of me. So I turn over and try to sleep again.

THE SMELL

What a great smell, Sam thought as she stood behind the thin glass walls of the bakery. The intoxicating aroma almost made her swell up causing her to lean even more on the see through wall for the strength to appear standing. The wall let out a groan because of the weight. Sam wasn't the most fit women and she knew it so she simply ignored the sound and went back to the smell.
She had always loved bakeries, ever since she could remember. Her father would sometimes let her use a nickel to buy a piece of bread or, if she was really lucky, a small brownie. How she loved going to smell the smells with her father.
It was a crisp November day and the temperature was well on its way to freezing. That's why I'm so hungry, she thought, because of Thanksgiving. Well I won't be subdued by that again this year! And with that she briskfully walked off, away from the smell.

HOSPITAL

Harry could only slightly crack open one of his eyes. The other was not yet healed. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital. Having never been to one before, not even when he was born caused him to survey the surroundings. The odd white walls and the perfectly clean room made his stomach feel queasy causing him to quickly shut his eye. He couldn't even remember how he had gotten in that sickly perfect white room. Searching his memory caused the brain to ache, so he simply laid there motionless.

CLOUDS

The cool grass stuck to my back as I laid there watching the sky. Seeing the large white clouds swirl together is always a calming thing. Have you ever notice how fast they seem to move when you really concentrate? It's as if they are trying to escape to a new scenic view. I never seem to be able to escape from my own scenes. They're always haunting the insides of my eyes, waiting for me. And now even the clouds are passing me by through life.