ALWAYS

They are the ones that are always around.
They are there for you when no one else is.
They are there even if you aren't yourself.
They support and encourage you.
They help you to be your best.
They help you get through your worst.
They cry and laugh with you.
They feel your hurt and pain.
They would do really anything for you.
They are always there and,
They always will be.

AND BUT

It is, therefore it isn't.
It was and then it wasn't.
It speaks but is mute.
It feeds and yet it starves.
It does and it doesn't.
It sees but is blind.
It knew but now knows not.
It's different and it's the same.
It can and really can't.
It hears but is deaf.
And it would if it only could.

UNTOUCHABLE

There is a pool of water that none should touch, but I washed my face in it. It was so cool and fresh as it tricked down so I lapped it into my mouth. With my thirst fulfilled a hunger set in so I selected a piece of fruit. It was the closest food that I could reach, even though it was from the untouchable tree. But I washed the apple in the pool. The fruit was delicious to taste even though the sight of it looked wrong. The soggy yellow pieces clenches onto my tongue as I made my way to the rip core. Juices fell into the pond as I started to slowly feast on the sweet red center. It left my hands sticky but I washed them in the pool and picked another fruit.

TOO HAPPY

You're much too happy to be here. Misery is a must. It's a requirement, you know. You're tears are not of sadness. They're not even of pain. And so you don't belong. Now leave while you can. You're far too happy to be here.

KNOW

I think I know.
Maybe I do.
It might be deep below.
Or it might be new.
Either way, why not pretend
And learn to know it in the end.

CAN

Can I simply talk to you? Can I just let you know how I'm feeling? Can I just yell at myself? Can you just listen and understand? Can you not judge me? Can you just sit still and listen? Can you just watch? Can you let me cry? Can you not comfort me? Can you let the tears flow down? Can you just listen and watch? Can you be there for me? Can I tell you how I'm really doing? Can I completely tell you the truth? Can I trust you with the reality of it all? Can you keep your promise to not tell? Can you just be what I need? Can you help me? Can you?

LITTLE SILLY

A silly little thing
Can make you
Sad, glad or mad.
Just a silly little thing
Can change your
Sun to rain.
Such a silly little thing
Can affect your
Entire day.
And it's just
A silly little thing.

INTENSE

It was such an intense pain. No amount of pressure could relieve it. I couldn't help but let the tears fall, along with my shoulders. It was the intense pain, something that I hadn't felt for such a long time. I had blocked that away but now it was back again. It was the same intense pain. My shaking became unbearable as I fell to the floor. I couldn't help but sob and grasp for air. Grasp for something that would hold me, something that would comfort me. Even if only for just one second. And then, when I felt all was lost, I felt arms around me. And then I was picked up and buried into love and warm. And then He swept away the intense pain.

HEART

Its intoxicating my senses, consuming my soul and mind, but not my heart. That has not been touched. It is far too guarded for that. No matter the circumstances, the sweet actions, the kind words, it won't be consumed. My heart is away and that's the way I like it.

HAVE

What a burden that must be
To live so happy and free.
What an awful mistreat
To have plenty to eat.
What a dreadful thing
To live in a lodging
What a trying time
To have warmth and downtime.
What an annoying crutch
To have so much.

BRUTE

Clumsy. Stupid. Thick.
Rough. Dense. Smelly.
Rude. Loud. Unnatural.
Looked down upon.
Maybe sad,
But it couldn't possibly
Know what they are saying.
It couldn't possibly
Have feelings about
How they see it,
Or about anything for that matter.
No, it is just a
Brainless, awkward, noisy,
Vulgar, brute.

FOUNDATION

First it's the small things. It's the things that you think don't really matter all that much, but they do. They are the foundation, the comforts and the protectors. But now that they are gone everything's off. The walls cannot take the weight of the roof. The floor begins to moan with agony as it bends. Then it falls. What was once steady is now crumpled in a little heap. It lays a waste and causes people to question what happened. They think it must have been a huge storm or an enemies attack when really it was the foundation, when really they were never small things.

IT IS

I don't know if I would say that I am glad. No, glad does not describe it at all. It is more like relieved, happy, delighted. There's self-confidence and assurance because of it. I would say something along those lines suffice, but not completely. Either way, however it can be put together, that's how I feel. Especially when a blurred memory haunts my eyes. When something so terrible and so dark, used to be considered practical, regular, and strange if it were not so. Those horrifying nightmares of day to day. But the fact is, the importance of it all is, that it is over. It is done. It's finished, ended, through, different, unalike and unrelated to the now, and completely destroyed to the very core. However it is preferred, that's what it is.

WASTE

Words never spoken are a waste.
They do nothing but occupy space.
So what does that make my thoughts unsaid?
Am I too a pitiful waste in the head?

SPENT

Nights had been slept.
Dreams were dreamt.
And tears were wept.
But now it's all spent.

DUCKS

They tried their hardest. Pushing and pulling and paddling up river as swiftly as possible. Some of them were swept away because of the current. Different destinations had them in mind. Some were fighters, not to say that the others weren't, and made it through. With sore legs and wet feathers they had their victory. They were just ducks, but they had made it.

STILL

A single sigh escaped her as she rushed past. It was him again. He had brushed past her, not even realizing who she was, who she used to be to him. The space between them became bigger now, just as it had in the past. He had moved on as she stood there, struck, having been hit in the heart one more time. Life was different now; with its new complexities, priorities, and ambitions. But the feeling still stung her, and then it was gone.

FEELING

It was the feeling of belonging as their approving smiles beamed my way. Several hands clapped me on the back while agreeable laughter struck through out the room. Needless to say, it was a good feeling.

RAVEN

A clear blue sky.
A raven soars.
It calls to none.
The objects below
won't look up.
The bird above
won't fly low.
So he cries
and continues on.

KNOW NOW

It had never crossed my mind
   that he wanted to be mine.
I didn't even see
   there were feelings for me.
But now that I know
   I at last have a way to go,
A path that is seen
   just like a brilliant routine.
So with my open arms
   I dare the future harms
Because the thought to prevail
   is worth the cost to fail.

LEAN

He leaned in. She slipped away. Stillness filled the air as his shoulders fell and glanced around at the all seeing crowd. She wouldn't dare look up to his eyes for embarrassment had slowly crept onto his face. An awkward silence fell on the couple as they stood peering away from one another. His glare was steadily fixed on the crowd, pondering whether someone had seen her slipping away, whether anyone could see their present situation, ready to strike at the first who expressed such knowledge. She was timidly staring at the ground thinking of his thoughts, pondering whether his judgments had started, whether his interest was lost, deciding on what now to do. Suddenly she glimpsed up at him, seeing his forehead all wrinkled and vicious eyes glued on a few people just afar off. And, closing her eyes, she leaned in.

DIVE

Scrapped up knees
Cut bleeding hands
Smudged dirty face
Messy tangled hair
Fell so many times
But still dives
Even if off cliffs
Towards you

WOULD

Would I flutter? Would I spread my wings and fly? Would I go beyond the trees? Would I soar above the buildings? The mountains? Even the clouds? Would I simply escape? Without any thoughts of returning? Would I not look back? Would I miss my current comforts? Would I crave my old life? Would I regret it? Would I get what I wanted? Would I?

THERE

Even though we spoke a different language I knew he'd understood. Our eyes met for just a moment and then it was gone. He was back in his part of the world and me to mine. But we both knew it was there, and despite our differences it always would be.

HOW

It seems so clear, and as bright as light when you look.
How do some people not realize it?
But then, how do some people realize it?
It is uncertain and as foggy as mud itself when you are the one in it.

UP

He now knew why he was still up.

It was consuming him.

Nothing could soothe it or stop its infestation.

There was no way to dull the pain,

to make it stop ringing in his ears.

Its presence was now obvious to him,

every moment and object a reminder.

There was nothing he could do but surrender,
nothing he could do but lie there
becoming completely engulfed in it.

REACH

Even from a far he recognized something. Something familiar grazed his mind, causing the brain to reenact the past. His pace quickened, trying to reach it, trying to reach her. The dark long hair, the thin figure; of course it was her. Despite wishing to not have noticed, he couldn't slow his walk. In fact he sped up to a jog when realizing the familiarity. He was so close. She was so close. His pace then slowed, almost to a crawl, as they walked shoulder to shoulder. Inches apart, there she was. All he had to do was reach out. But he didn't turn as he walked by. A fear had cropped up. For it was fear of the result, the fear of what could or couldn't be.

ONE FIFTY

       As my
one hundred
   and fiftieth
post
  I just
      want to say
thanks.
   Thank you
  to those
readers
   out there.
   You
 make my
 work
   worth it.
 Thanks,
  and thank
        you.

OUT

Bottled up.
Ready to burst.
It won't go unnoticed.
The cap will come off.
It might not happen now,
But it will happen.
It will shoot out.
It will be released.
Everything will come out.

ONLY

If only you knew what I see in you.
If only you saw that you're without flaw.
If only you looked than you would be hooked.
If only you tried, I'd be by your side.
Only then you could see how great we would be.

BIKE

As we peddled on the trail my mind wandered through the leaves, trees, rocks, mountains, river, and eventually it landed right on the thought of a bike. Its funny how effortlessly one can move on a bike. There is no need for a lot of strength or loads of power. You can even glide down the path if wanted. It takes you wherever you want, and all you need to do is steer and peddle along. The only problem is finding out where you want to go. Which side of the path to see, which turns you think will be worth taking, which way will take you where you want. Some just let gravity take its course, completely being influenced by a slight wind or push of circumstance. Others are determined and will only allow the bike to move as they command, even if it seems impossible. So after you choose which one you are and whether or not to choose a path, then you can let your mind wander. Wander through the grass, plants, peaks, and streams.

OVER

There's nothing you can say
    to make me want to stay.
Nothing you can do
    because I'm over you.
So play your desperate game
    but I won't take the blame.
We're over, we are done
    and now I'm the one having fun.

WHICH

Choose. You only have a minutes left. Both choices may look good, they may look the same; but let me tell you, they aren't. One will break you apart. It will tear, it will hurt, it won't be worth it. You don't want that choice. But which one is it? Which one will bring you what you want? Which one do you think it will be? Decide. You only have a few seconds now. Both choices look the exact same, so which one is it? Time's up. Which one will it be?

SEE

Wake up!

Open your eyes.

Did you not just see that?

Weren't you paying attention?

Really look with your eyes,

That's why you have them.

Then, and only then,

Can you really see.

REAL

I may look so pretty.
I may seem really nice.
But you don't really know me
So take my advice.
Leave while you can,
Drop everything and run.
It never goes according to plan
And in the end it won't be fun.
So I'm telling you right now,
Before the real monster comes out.
Just get away from me somehow,
You'll be much better without.

BATTLE

No one would have even noticed if it wasn't for the slight sniffle. Despite the throbbing headache, she still smiled to the rest of the room. The red nose looked rubbed raw yet her eyes were bright and lively. That, along with the smile, proved to overpower her symptoms. The sickness seemed to be fighting an impossible battle, losing miserably against her optimistic attitude.

LET GO

I'll let you go now. Sorry for taking up your time. I'm sorry that you took up mine. Sorry for thinking I was in love. I now have learned my ways. I just thought you should know. And now I'll let you go.

ATTENTION

It must be a great feeling, walking from crowd to crowd being completely noticed. The thought of attention, of compliments, of interest; seemed to feed the big head causing it to sprout out even larger. Each group longing for more, wishing the time could linger still. But there were far too many people to see, too many groups to visit, for that kind of talk to become meaningful. Despite the obviously jealous dark looks from others nothing changed, they went on unnoticed. And so with that the big head went on, flashing a smile and seeking attention.

READ

         You might think I'm illiterate, and to a point I am.
            The thing is, I just don't read.
 I've never really the type to.
      It's not one of my skills.
    I don't get what a look might mean
          or when a comment is supposed to be hurtful.
I don't recognize the hidden hints,
    don't understand when there is more to a touch,
                   or when there's not.
       I'm just not the kind to read people.

STRONG

The moment may have past
But the memories linger on.
And they will always outlast
Even if you were but a fawn.
We will never forget,
But now we've become strong.
The once hostile threat,
The one who were in the wrong,
Is almost all but gone.

UGLY

Don't do
this again.
I'm sore
and tired
from your
lies.
You've
lead me
on long
enough.
Either
the truth
comes
out or
I am out.
And trust me,
both will be
ugly.

STENCH

There was a stiff scent. I could smell it right as I took my first step into the room. It was something chocking the rest of the air away, forcing it to leave. Quickly I became dizzy as if literally hit by the odor. My head was swimming in it, in something I didn't even know or understand. Looking around I could not find it's source but I knew something was different about this room. It was here somewhere. Something had gone on here, something was unsettling. Then, like a second slap to the face, it was there. Everything was out in the open, visible for anyone to see. It was the aroma of awkward. The reek of remembrance. The stench of the situation.

BECAUSE

Excuses.
They are pointless.
Most are lies and unhelpful.
Because of laziness and shame.
Because of timing and circumstance.
Because of something that could have been different.
Of just because.

MEMORIES

Even though it had been months their last kiss still lingered on his lips. Her warm embrace would still sneak into his dreams, intoxicating the night. He couldn't get away from her memory, and now he didn't want to.

MAYBE

Maybe he didn't mean to.
Maybe she deserved it.
Maybe it was okay after all.
Maybe that's just how things
Were supposed to be.

SMOKE

The smoke is coming in at every angle. I fall to the ground, being pushed down by my lack of strength. Coughing takes over the lungs as I start sliding on the ground. A faint beam of light is where I'm headed as I try to slither on the floor, keeping away from the fumes. My fear has now turned to flight and there is some sort of strength in my crawling. I'm not sure where it is coming from but because of that I am able to get to the source of light. It is a small crack in the door, I don't know why I would have left it open. I usually make sure all of the doors are closed and locked. My lungs feel full of smoke and ashes but I grab the bottom of the door and pull. My efforts are useless but my head is calm. I pull again and this time the door swings open, with enough force that it almost hits me. The fresh air never felt so clean as I rolled down the stairs and away from the smoke, safe and sound.

WHISPER

Don't talk too loudly,
You might scare him away.
Whisper, ever so quietly
In a comfortable way.
So don't be silent,
Get your talk to standout.
Keep up his interest,
But don't force it out.
Walk the fine line
In between the two
So that way he won't decline
The thought of him and you.

END

No matter what it seems like,
There is no end.
The thing with life,
With existance,
Is that it never stops.
Change does not bring an end,
Not even death can do that.
Instead it brings a beginning,
A hopeful start.
There is no end.

COULD

It could have been that person who passed by you at just the right time. It could have been the song that perfectly explained your life at that moment. It could have been small, large, or medium. Either way, however insignificant it could be to others, it is there.

OUTLET

It might be music.
It might be reading.
It might be dancing.
It might be singing.
It might be sports.
It might be writing.
It might be playing instruments.
It might be anything.
Whatever it is let it out,
              and enjoy.

GROW OVER

Grow up and get over it.
Grow up and get over it.
Grow up and get over
                       get over
                       get over
                             over it.

SLEEP

Sleep was taunting her eyes as well as the rest of the body. Its soothing, tantalizing power was starting to take over, immobilizing her thought process and movements. Her eyes were drooping because of the heaviness. Her arms starting to tingle under the warm covers. And then she slept.

ORDER

Everything was a mess except for her closet. In it the clothes were neatly organized. The colors and styles were arranged in a way that caused a gradual development. It would seem pointless or unimportant to others who saw but for her, that was order.

PAIN

I woke up in a cold sweat. It had been a sharp pain that forced me out of pleasant dreams, but from what? Maybe is was my foot, I thought, I must have kicked the edge of my bed. Or maybe my stomach, I probably just ate too late. Yup, that was it, and now I'm fine.
With that as reassurance I turned over trying to become more comfortable. But then it happened again. I ignore it. And again, and again, and again. Over and over it hit me. Then the realization struck me, it wasn't my foot or my stomach or my head or hand. It was a more suddle pain, something I couldn't control. It was the aching pain of my heart.

WALKING

There was a feeling of confidence as she walked down the hall. Every so often eyes would stare, heads would turn. Her self assurance grew even though there was no way of knowing what these glances meant. It was like walking on air while everyone else was still on the ground. The thought of attention, of noticement, was enough to keep her walking.

IT

This is the real world.
It isn't some game.
It's not a fairyland where everything is easy.
It's hard, dissapointing, and brutal.
It pulls you down as far as it can and will make you feel hopeless.
It will cause you to cry tears and scream in frustration.
But it also does the opposite.
It will give you memories that will sweeeten your soul.
It will give you opportunities that are better than anything you

ever hoped for.

It will bring relationships, laughter, and love.
It will strengthen you as you go through its different challenges.
It's not some game.

This is life.

ME

   Sometimes I think I'm pretty.
                                   I'm smart.
                                   I'm what you want.
I've tried too long to be what you wanted.
                too much to be your friend.
                too hard to go unnoticed.
But now I can't anymore.
                  can't pretend to be something different.
                  can't be anything else but me.

SAME

We all have ears,
    even if they're different sizes.
Everyone has eyes,
    even though there are many colors.
We all have brains,
    even if some are smarter.
Everyone has a heart,
    even if it's hard to see in some.
Everyone is the same,
    even though we are different.

COLLAPSING

She was slowly suffocating. Everything was suddenly starting to come in, pulling her tighter and tighter. There was not room to breath nor move. It was like everything was collapsing in on her. All of the pressure and stress. All of the change and differences. All of the problems and troubles. They were all too close to her, and she was unable to breath.

WEIRD

Why not be weird?
It seems like a lot more fun, doesn't it?
Why not be different?
Isn't it a lot better than being normal?
Who would want to live a dull life anyway?

BYE

The goodbye was what struck Lizzy the hardest. She didn't even know these people and still felt for them. They were tightly intertwined in each other with tears silently falling. It was their last embrace and anyone who bothered to look could see that. Reluctantly they pulled apart with a simple but powerful kiss on the forehead. Then he was gone.
As Lizzy watched silent tears formed in her own eyes, even though she wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it was the thought of forever goodbyes. Maybe it was her past that started entertaining her mind. Either way, she became too busy to realize as she was pushed along with the crowd.

LAST

The clock is ticking away.
There's no way to stop it or slow it down.
Time will never stop.
The moments will fade.
It will never last and soon becomes the past.

PERSON

I've always been the person to tease.
                             the person to make fun of.
From what I do
       to how I talk
      to what I say
Its always been me.
Over the years I've gotten used to it,
         the constant joking
                              nagging
                              downgrading comments;
But sometimes it's just too much
                          it's just the last straw to make me break.

THINKING

Are you thinking of me?

And how we used to be?

And how you used to hold me?

And tell me that you love me?

And how you said you thought of me.

Thinking of me.

Were you thinking of me?

While we used to be?

And your arms were around me,

And you were looking straight at me,

But was your attention really on me?

Thinking of me.

Were you thinking of me?

When you said we couldn't be?

And you removed your arms from me,

Like you had never loved me,

And then you took your leave.

Thinking of me.


Were you? Did you? Have you? Do you? Are you?
Thinking of me.

CREATURE

The creature in the mirror caused her to cringe. It had been a while since she had seen... herself. If you can even call it that. The once smooth, neat hair now grew in oddly placed patches and the rash had spread. She was now some sort of spotted creature, unrecognizable to even her own eyes.

SLIPPED

As they laid there holding each other a sudden realization passed over her. Trying to ignore it she held him tighter, as if to mold the two of them together. This, of course, only made it worse. He didn't mean any of it, despite her several tries, and it was now obvious. He wouldn't look at her face, wouldn't hold her lingering hand. Wouldn't admit to doing this the next day, just like the times before. And because of this silent tears fell down her face that was burrowed against him. She couldn't do anything but pretend as they held each other closer, even though she knew he had already slipped through her fingers.

TELL

I'll tell you I'm fine
Even though I cry myself to sleep.
I'll tell you I'm feeling great
Even though I threw up this morning.
I'll tell you I'm happy for you
Even though you like someone else.
I'll tell you everything is going well
Even though I am full of stress.
I'll tell you what you want to hear
Even though it isn't true.

LIES

One of thousands.
Insignificant.
Common.
Normal.
Not important.

Lies.

BEAUTY

Everything was as it was before hand, but he had never realized how truly beautiful it all was. He had been gone for what seemed like years when it really was only a matter of days. The trees were now bloomed and spring colors splashed from the thousands of flowers. Birds were out and chirping their different songs and the sun never seemed brighter. It felt like everything was just holding its breath, not wanting to disturb the beauty and peace that was felt. As he looked around at the many people walking past a sad realization passed over him; they were not paying attention. Sure, they were outside enjoying the sun but they weren't enjoying the beauty that was clearly around them. This newly found beauty that he wanted to just sing and stare at. This newly found beauty that captured him, keeping him in a kind of trance that he hoped to never get out of.

LIKE

With just that first step Bill realized he was in a new world.
Everything was different: the people,
                                           the temperature,
                                           the sights,
                                           the smells,
                                   even the sounds.
It was all new to him, and Bill liked it.

CLOSE

He sat so close,

But I knew he really was far away,

Dreaming of someone else.

Not knowing my dreams were always of him.

That my mind would constantly wander his way.

And he would never know.

I seemed so close.

Was I too close?

I feared that my feelings would show;

That they would intoxicate him,

But it was worth just sitting there besides him,

Lingering in his presence.

WALL

The wall was built brick by brick.
Everything you've done made it so.
And now you're coming back here,
But it's too late, you said no.
No matter how hard you try
These walls won't let you in.
My guard is up and it's not coming down.
Our battles are over, you can no longer win.
So don't come back around here.
Don't darken my door.
My brick wall is up,
And there's nothing more.

SITUATION

It's a curious situation.
It's a curious situation.
         That's all for me.

A mysterious situation.
A mysterious situation.
         But it's all for me.

It's a serious situation.
It's a serious situation.
       And it's all for me.

BREAK

The glass could be in front of your face.
It may be easily done,
But break out of it.
It may even be a thick wall,
And it may be hard to do.
Break out of it anyway.
You have to hit it,
Don't think it will just fall from before you.
So break it and break out.

ALONE

Even though there are people in the room all around me they seem too busy to see. I'm all alone and yet too crowded to move. No one seems to recognize it, no one seems to care. Or maybe the room is actually empty and the figures are my thoughts taking form, crowding my mind. Either way I'm alone, with no room to breath.

IMMOVABLE

If a tree were to move,
Its roots would no longer be able
To help it stand.
If a house were to move,
The foundation would no longer be
There to support it.
Foundations, roots need to
Be in deep, and immovable.

STOMACH

     It slowly started
   to eat away at
        his stomach:
  the pain,
      the discomfort,
the disgust.
  It had suddenly
      attacked, leaving
    him helpless.
  So all he could
         do was curl up
with a pillow
      pressed against
  his stomach,
      to try to make
             it stop.

ONE HUNDRED

   As my one
Hundredth post
  I would
     Again like
          To say
 Thank you to all
   For reading
My blog. It
     Is such
  A pleasure
To write
   For you and I
Am thankful
   That you
      Are
 Such a
    Great audience.

STEP BACK

The water is rushing from all over. Just can't see the sharp rocks ahead. Maybe there is too much worrying about not sinking. Maybe the waves are just too high to see past. Maybe the waves are too harsh to overcome. It seems there’s no way to maneuver through it.

Take a step back from that river. Stop flailing and hold up that head. Take a look at the scenery. Those flowers are just blooming in. The mountains stand nice and tall; their guiding the river down. Really appreciate it. Just take a step back.

See what has happened here? Priorities are flying all over the place; like liquid thrown about. Taking a step back, taking some time to just think can calm those waves. It can help those flowers bloom. It makes the mountains strong and more able to protect. Just take a step back.

PRESENCE

Their presence is cute and cuddly.
                             old and wise.
                             full of story telling time.
                             fun but fragile.
                             instructive.
                             full of love.
                             everything.

LITTLE

The little
  bees swarmed
the little
    children. With
their little
 yells and screams
the little
   kids started
         to run
their little
 different ways,
    stomping on
those little
 spring time flowers
     or hiding behind
   the trees from
the little
    angry bees.

CARRY

Steve was down. The blow had hit him right in the heart. Its unexpected swing seemed to chill his every bone. He had not seen it coming, but now the pain was not stopping. Even though he quickly tried to distract himself, nothing could erase that sting from his heart. It would be a never ceasing burden for Steve to always carry.

DESTROY

His hands felt like pieces of glass were protruding out of them. Everything he seemed to want was shredded with a simple touch. It was as if all in his path was destined for destruction. And that's what he was, destruction. A destroyer of anything and everything he could get his hands on. It wasn't as if he meant that to be the case, but it happened no matter what or who the victim. It would become nothing, would be gone.

FRIENDS

Cause we're friends.
Just friends.
That's all we are.
     We're just friends.
     Just friends.
     That's all they want.
Because we're friends.
Just, just friends.
There's nothing more.

DRAIN

Some days it will drizzle.
On others it will rain.
It might even pour but
Remember, it will always drain.

DAILY

Jill stared at the bleak abyss, hoping for something else to drag her attention away. It was the same, daily, constantly repetitive thing that bored her. Every day she would wait; waiting for just something to happen, something to do, something to change her course of events. She used to not understand how people could do it; how they just sat in their lives and let the world pass through them like a blur. At least it hadn't made sense to Jill, until she found herself doing the same exact thing.

AREN'T

Why are we constantly beating up on ourselves? It could be physically: we aren't skinny or muscular enough, aren't handsome or pretty enough, aren't what we want us to be. So we run more, we stop eating, we change ourselves. It could also be emotionally: we aren't smart enough, we aren't funny enough, we aren't what we want us to be. And so we joke more, we study more, we change ourselves. We are who we are supposed to be. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others because it's not possible to become them. We just need to be our best selves that we can be and leave the aren't out of it.

STEPS

          Building up.
  Getting stronger.
    Learning more.
      Brick by brick.
         Step by step.
      Straw by stick.
 Moving with one
       foot at a time.
       That's how to
     go through life.

BACK

She gently held her head, as if to protect it from the memories that were now flooding in. Trying to block out the past and look towards the future had never been her strength. In fact, one could say that it was the exact opposite. Everything was different now in her life and she was very glad of that, but the sting would still sometimes attack her heart. A sudden presence of something familiar would shove her brain back to those days, to those times of worry and sorrow. It would engulf her, and for a little while she would be in its despair once again.

PEEK

     She was on her toes as she peeked over the gate, but let's not
     get ahead of ourselves.
Everyday she would walk past that fence in her daily routine, always wondering and dreaming what it would be like on the other side. There were said to be such wonders behind it; adventures and marvelous things that children could only think of. She had also heard that once she looked over that gate she could never go back, but that couldn't possibly be so. After all, the excitement of looking over had consumed her every thoughts to cause even anxiety at times. There was so much curiosity about that gate and the joys behind it, so she decided to finally look. Just one peek would be all; it wouldn't hurt anyone anyway; so really she decided to peek. As she quickly walked towards that gate her head started to spin as the rush of something new came closer. And so, she was on her toes as she peeked over the gate.  And then she looked.

MOVE

Don't get stuck in a rut.
That's not a fun place to dwell.
You've just got to get up
And dust yourself off after you fell.
Sometimes it may be hard, but
It's the only way to excel.
Be done with your self wallop.
To the ground say your farewell,
And from the laws of gravity rebel,
So now you can start to be well.

WRITE

As he
picks up
the pen
and sets
down the
paper he
can feel
his wings
coming out.
As the words
are poured out
of his heart
and onto the
paper his wings
take flight. No
longer is he bound,
no longer is he
silent. He can now
take flight and soar
up above the clouds
as his pen rythmically
moves along the paper.
For that is writing.

HIDDEN

It's hidden by covering it up.
                        pretend it isn't true.
                        faking everything is alright.
The hidden feeling causes discomfort.
                                           disgust.
                                           self loathing.
It remains hidden because of the shame.
                                                        fear.
                                                        fact that it is different.
And that's why it is hidden.

SHALLOW

The little pond was only a few inches deep. It had small rocks and was surrounded by little flowers being covered with weeds. But it always wanted more. Maybe, even though it was shallow, it would have those gorgeously smooth rocks that would shimmer along with the lining of lush flowers. Petals would be sprinkled onto the pond creating those who walked by to stop and stare. But it never was so; it was just a shallow pond with shallow desires.

HARD

Ever since that day,

   it was hard for

him to let anyone in.

   No matter how

  much or how differently

he tried to

    they always seemed to

let him down.

 He always went too far in,

        got too invested.

Then he was just left

   in the lurch,

with a broken heart

  to piece back together.

SEED

See that tree over there?
That huge tree was once just a tiny seed.
That little seed would have always been a seed
    if it had not been willing to break out of its shell and grow.
And even starting to grow
       it had to get its nutrients so it could be strong
and it had to spread its roots into the ground so it could be secure.
It wasn't easy, but that little seed wanted to become a tree
   so it fought for it.
And now look at it.
Look at what a simple seed can become.

BRIGHTENS

The tiny things in life
Are really the most
Important.
It's just like how
The small ray of sunshine
That reaches out of the
Clouds brightens even
The darkest and stormiest of days.
Or how the
Simple act of a smile
Brightens ones face.
It might be small,
But it is important
And it is bright.

ROAD TRIP

   Boredon trickles all around just like the unstable water bottle as it steadily leaks onto the freshly made carpet. I can't remember the last time we went, I mean all of us, to them.

   I lean my head on the window and take a peak outside. Green feilds flash between the snow covered mountains. Thankfully the winter season stopped a few weeks ago, but that doesn't mean the rain is gone. Its splashes are as steady as the flooding over waterbottle.

   All I have to do is write. That's all I ever seem to do now. Ever since it happened...

   But I try not to think about that as I look around the crowded car. My sister Anne is leaning on my shoulder, which now has a stream of drool slowly forming. But I don't care much. I don't want to wake her, though I probably would have a month ago.

   My little brother Bob is shoved in the back between my siblings Mary and Jim. It was really too small of a car for all of us but we never complained. Actually we like to be close to each other now a days.

   Two other siblings are on my left side. The little ones, Sam and Tom. Thankfully they have been silently sucking on their thumbs or sleeping the entire ride. While staring at them I realize how jealous I truly am. They have no cares or worries. They don't even know what's going on.

   A sudden snort from the front of the car distracted my thoughts. The source was from my uncle in the shotgun seat. He was sound asleep. I couldn't help but stare at him and as I did hot anger surged my body.

   Quickly I turned my head away. No, I couldn't think that. It wasn't true what Jim told me. He just wouldn't do that.

   Turning my attention to the driver I stared at my nana, well my grandma actually, but she didn't like us to call her that. I guess it made her feel old, even thought she doesn't seem old to me. Being married as young as she did caused my dad to follow in her footsteps. My mom said it was a bad thing to do but it did give nana the advantage of still being young with grandchildren.

   My mom. Dad.

   Nana was the first one there after it happened. We were actually at her house when the news reached us. She then had to force my relunctant uncle to drive, even though he just ended up sleeping anyway.

   Of course we don't know where we're actually driving to. We are just kids. Adults don't tell us things like that. Or that's at least what Jim says.

LOVELY

Love twitters like a fresh spring bird.

Its soft, enticing song engulfs all who hear it.

It's addicting.

The feeling takes over the brain, heart, body, and soul of its unsuspecting victims.

But it's lovely,

Funny how that word can so completely describe love.

It can be annoying at times,

But completely lovely.

Or at least if it is right or meant to be.

In other words,

True love is lovely.

For instance,

Wouldn't it be lovely to always have someone to hold?

Someone to talk to and adore?

The beautiful and lovely thing is that they love and adore you in return.

That's meaningful.

That is love.

LEAP

        You can leap
        into the arms
        all you want,
        but there are
            only three
         options that
           will follow.
   Either they
  move aside,
 afraid of the
  initial jump,
 causing you
           to fall.
       Or you will be
      caught and all
 will be right for a
                     time.
         But then the
           weight will
          become too
         much, it will
        annoy or not
      seem worth it,
causing you to fall.
  Or you
   will be
  caught
       and
      held
through
     it all.

MEANT IT

You might have thought that I was kidding. Maybe it was my voice or something that gave you that impression. When I said those three simple words you started to laugh, brushing me aside as you walked out. I had poured my heart into that and you just thought it was an immature joke,

But I meant it.

You thought I was some sort of toy that you could use and abuse. When you held me tight I held you back, trying to show you how I felt. But you didn't feel the same way, you didn't feel anything. I was just a simple game to you, without any feelings or with no need to explain to,

But I meant it.

I meant it.

HIT

Slam.
Whack.
Punched right in the face.
An instant slice.
Feeling its sting.
Blood runs steadily down
Like tears.

ATTACHED

No matter how much tape or glue is on, the paper will fall off eventually. Either by the weather or by someone's pull it will come apart. But the words on the paper cannot be taken away. They can be covered up but never seperated. The paper and words are attached, and no pull or weather or mark can take that away.

SPEAK

Have you ever had that feeling of not knowing what to say when it happens? Maybe it just threw you off or you didn't have enough courage to speak your mind? Either way you didn't say anything really important? Then after you sit there like an idiot you figure out what you really wanted to say? Maybe it was just too far buried down in your heart or you just needed some time to think, but now you have it and want to say it? But now you're afraid that it's too late and the moment has passed?

DETAIL

It's started to sway being blown by the wind,
Like a rhythmic dance was about to begin.
Slowly it tilted along with the trees,
As it was easily brought to follow the breeze.
The swaying grew stronger into a soft nudge
Causing it to move as it started to budge.
It wasn't dramatic but that nudge soon became
Uneasy as it was bent by the shame.
Under such pressure it then fell
Making the ground a place to dwell.

Now as you hear of this sad tale
Don't overlook the crucial detail.
For you might think the wind had caused it to bend
Or the curious nudge that brought to its end.
But no, my friends, it was much more.
For the stick itself lacked its own core.

DISEASE

Katie always seems to mess things up. Everything will be going fine and then her mouth gets in the way. Or she will think too much about the current situation and all of its possible outcomes. It's like a disease will just start to invade her whenever she tries to reach out. Slowly consuming her mind and taking hold of her thoughts, causing all in its path to either become devoured or to flee. Either way, it never ends out well. She now knows why diseased people are usually contained, so they are always by themselves. It stops the germ from spreading. Maybe that's what Katie should do; let it fester inside of her until it either takes over or it leaves. Only time will tell as she dwells with the disease.

THIRSTY

She woke up in the middle of the night thirsty for water, which was easy to obtain. But as she went throughout her day she became thirsty once again. This thirst wouldn't be as quick to resolve; if she were to ever do so it would require effort and tactics. It was the thirst for more.

COLLIDE

      Hit. Hard.
      Shy. Shove. Use.
      Mean. Sad.
      Leave. Alone.
Break. Fall. Cry. Crawl. Kneel. Stand. Walk.
    Meet. Soft. Wish.
    Outspoken. Hope. Like.
    Mistakes. Mess. Miss.
Break. Fall. Cry. Crawl. Kneel. Stand. Walk.
  Collide. Talk. Yourself.
  Dream. Like.
  Mistakes. Mess.
  Wait. Think.
  Forgive. Love.

THE LIGHT

The flicker of light shines into
   The darkness.
As she walks through the hall
   Cold shudders sweep past her
   Or thick fogs fill up the room,
   Consuming even her mind.
But she travels through the long walk,
   Over uneven turns
   And darker patches.
The light is always there to help guide her way.
Sometimes it doesn't show her
   The direct surroundings, but
It is always there to walk towards.
And so she walks, traveling towards that light.

SPRING

         The sun came up
      As the ice began to melt,
         Turning into water to
      Seep through the grass.
   Flowers slowly but steadily
      Popped out of the ground.
   Their majestic colors splashed
      With the cool green grass
         Causing an artistic scene.
      Birds' sweet melodies
   Were in the air along with
The sense of spring.

TASTE

The taste caused her stomach to do a flip. It was the best thing she could have ever eaten. Carefully and slowly she continued throughout the dish, making sure that every bit counted. The luscious, thick food passed through her throat, causing her stomach to start flipping even more. When it was all consumed there was only one thought that came to her mind, now that was good.

LOST

She had forgotten how to act.

It was as if her mind was cleared

From all previous conduct and

She now sat completely confused.

Her past was a blurr, but that was

Because she had made it that way.

Forgotten mistakes had slipped

Through her mind and now she was

Lost.

ACT

Action makes conclusions.
            makes what you want happen.
            makes change.
            makes being.
            makes things happen.
            makes means to the motive.
            makes reaction.

MOTIONLESS

With a glazed look
He laid there.
The thought of
Loss caused his
Heart to moan.
He slowly ran his
Hands through
His short
Spiky hair.
Not aware of
What to do he
Lay there motionless.

BREAKING

Her stomach was uneasy as she thought about the current situation. She felt so used. Why hadn't she realized that this would happen again? She should have listened to her friends. But she let her heart win the battle instead of her brain. Why does she always do that? No explanation came to her mind as silent tears streaked down her face. And now it was all just breaking, all over again.

MISSED

Her messy hair could not have looked worse, but with the combination of the constant stomach ache it didn't seem to upset her as much as usual. She was too consumed with her thoughts of wondering. The warmth is what she missed the most she decided and the feeling of belonging. The thought of doing something, just going out there for no reason, was what she really longed for. But she had missed it, and now all she could to was miss it more.

COUGH

The scratching in the throat was what made it unbearable. Its constant tease was a reminded of who is really in charge. All of the water in the world wouldn't help to hold it back as it aches to come out, waiting to explode on its way there. The heavy feeling just wouldn't be lifted out of the chest as it stirs around. Just coughing will let it out, but now isn't the right time or the right place.

INFLUENCING

You never know who you are going to influence today. It might be that lady who you opened the door for, or that lady who dropped her books all over the ground and you helped her to pick them up, or it might have been that guy you barely know who you took the time to talk to. Or that guy who you smiled at as you walked past, or that lady you impatiently waited in line after as you tapped your foot, or that guy who you didn't even look at, or that lady you friendly waved at. There's so many chances. Now ask yourself, are you taking the opportunities? Or are you letting them slide? Who are you influencing today?

WARDROBE

It was far too dark for him to wake up but he did anyways. He had to. The silence caused his ears to hum as he barely opened his eyes to walk around. The thought of another long day was dwelling overhead and he could not escape the fact that it was very realistically possible. He half heartedly went through his morning routine, which had now adapted to the darkness. Because of this, he would soon find out when he left that his shirt was backwards or his shoes didn't match or he was in need of a thicker jacket. The wardrobe malfunctions were almost a part of his routine now causing him to not care as much when he realized the mistake later in the day. It was almost a game to him. So as he walked outside into the moonlit morning he checked his outfit for the mistake, with no real intention of fixing it.

FIGHT BACK

There was a shove from behind.
They looked back but couldn't find the source.
The wind quickly picked up, kicking dust and fog all around them.
Doubt and dispair filled all of their minds through different thoughts and events.
It came as the agony of lonliness.
                                    of betrayal.
                                    of hatred.
                                    of trials.
                                    of self esteem.
                                    of short comings.
                                    of it all.

That was when they fought back.
And then the sun shone in through the clouds.

PUPPY DOG

A cute, brown dog sat there with a collar and leash around it's neck. It was a little dog and looked even smaller and more vulnerable compared to the large buildings around it. Being a very loyal puppy it always following behind it's owner even without a leash. But the owner had tied the collar and left it, so now the puppy dog had no one to follow. The little dog became very scared as angry voices approached and cars quickly sped past. All it could do was wait in distress and hide until it could untie the collar.

THEY

It was as if they had slashed a hole her chest, leaving her heart vulnerable for attack. She figured this would cause problems but had rationalized and thought that it would work itself out eventually. It hadn't. They had gone on and didn't even care to look back on her as she tried to trek through the loneliness and pain. They were supposed to do something, were supposed to realize that she was still there waiting. It was as if they had forgotten the times they had all spent together. She thought that they would remember but they hadn't. It just made her so upset to think that they hadn't even bothered to talk to her or to make sure that everything is okay between them. Even the thought of them caused her to boil with anger inside. Well, she thought, so much for them.

PACING

Back           and forth
         he walked, leaving
an                 on the carpet as he did so.
     INDENT
Pacing was his way of thinking,
                    his way of letting it out.
He really didn't like
     the idea and              UNCOMFORTABLE
              felt completely                                     with it.
Maybe he could

just

                  walk
                          until it
                                    went

away.

EXCITEMENT

He couldn't stop from smiling.
                            from giggling.
                            from laughing out loud.
                            from singing.
                            from screaming with joy at the top of his lungs.
                            from pumping his fists in the air.
                            from jumping up and down.
                            from dancing around the room.
                            from giving that stranger a hug.
He just couldn't help it.

FRIDAYS

The thick sweater helped her to relax as she lay on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position. With a stack of pillows propping her head up, she lazily watched the television. All of the room became quiet besides the station as it blared its commercials. She soon realized that he had fallen asleep on the opposite couch. Alone, again, on a Friday night. That was her life at the moment, and she didn't mind. Well not too much at least.

WAITING

                  You keep on checking to see if the light goes on.
                                                       To see if the alarm goes off.
                                                       To see just anything happen.
It's hardest when you feel it, and in actuality it hasn't happened.
                   When you know it, and it isn't really true.
                   When you want it but it just doesn't work out.
  The worst part is the wanting.
                              The wishing.
                              The waiting.

REPEAT

That same old song chanted through her head. Unable to clear her mind, she listened to the tune as she rhythmically tapped her finger to the constant beats. The fast, catchy lyrics quickly turned to slow and dull. It meddled with her head as a steady reminder of the repetitive song. Repeat over repeat, she couldn't get it out of her head.

FIFTY

  As a    
Celebration
Of my
    Fiftith post
 I would just
Like to
 Say thank you
     For all
   Of those who
Read my blog.
        Thanks
 For making
  My work seem
Appreciated, even
        If it's just
  To me.

WITH A SMILE

She laughed as the soft snow fell at her face. The large group of people was too busy, angrily shoving and pushing to get in front, to recognize the noise. Cold wind swept across their paths causing several to murmur even louder about the annoying situation, but she simply watched her hair swirl around in the wind. She had always been a happy girl; some called it ignorant or pure stupidity but she never cared enough to listen. So she stood there waiting with a bright smile on her face as the snow fell faster and harder.

GAMES OF HEART

I don't want
To call names.
Just stop
Playing games.
Let me know
Or let me go.
I don't think I can
Take much more;
Besides, this really
Shouldn't
Be a war.
My heart and head
Are fighting
And you're
Just inciting.
So stop it
And decide.

LOOKING OUT

The computer screen flashed in the dark room. With his head on the keyboard, snoring filled the otherwise quiet room. His glasses were askew and drool had formed into a small puddle by the computer's mouse. It had been a while since he had last fallen asleep.
The room was full of documents, wires, and computers. With the only light bulb broken it looked gloomier than normal, which was saying something. He had spent so much of his life in that room; now the real life seemed like a video game or the computer program of the day. This is what he knew and he was okay with that.
So he slept in the game world, never looking out from under those fantasy adventures.

She was an intelligent girl with only one goal in mind, to get educated. When she stepped out of the classroom her nose fell instantly into a book. She would walk into the cold with her essential books to warm her face. She was a small town girl trying to make her way in the world but simply couldn't put aside all of the facts, readings, and homework.
So she walked from class to class with a textbook in hand, never looking out from under those pages of adventure and knowledge.

NEVER

Laid there
   Facing the wall
Silent tears streaked down
   Face
Never letting people see

Always shut out
   Never letting people in
Scared of the world
   And what it can hold

PRETTY

I never understood how truly pretty I was until that moment. After seeing so many pictures of my life, I realized that I actually was beautiful. It wasn't because there weren't any weird faces or messed up hair styles but instead because I really looked at myself. All my life people have said how I'm so pretty: how I have a perfect nose, hair, eye lashes, skin, and body. I guess I got lost in all of the imperfect things and focused on the negative instead of positives. But now I remembered, now I am gorgeous.

THEN

Then they ran to each other just like in the movies. James loudly called Ann's name as he slowly sprinted towards her. Her long hair flowed in the wind causing a slow motion feeling. They wrapped into each other with a warm embrace. He held her lovingly and,
Then suddenly lifted Ann into the air. She giggled and spread out her arms while he spun. They laughed and spun with heads raised and eyes closed.
Then there was a sharp pain, James had hit into something. With eyes still closed he went to softly put her down. But the object wasn't there anymore and James opened his eyes to realize Ann in mid air over a several foot drop. Without thinking he threw her out, not wanting Ann to harm herself with the debris straight below.
Then they both fell.

QUESTIONS

            There was
         A room
      Full of
   Questions.
But I dared
   Not even
      Look into
         The door
            For fear that
         They might
      Leak out
   Through
The crack.

BOOKS

She stepped into the warm room and was consumed with the thought of books. They were everywhere she looked: all along the shelves, in the hands of the busy buyers, and even a few were scattered across the ground. Immediately she walked past the many people to the unnoticed part of the store. This was the part she always went to, the farthest and completely secluded corner. She would sit there for hours just smelling the books and taking in all of the different adventures and characters inside of them. After her readings she would always walk out with a stack of purchased books for a library of her own.