HAD

I had put so much into that thought. I had checked my sources and ran through the different lines to use. I had rough drafted the idea in my head, deciding on my certain pauses and word choices. I had nervously raised my hand, despite my shaking and shyness. I had let my words flow, stuttering over my final draft. I had offered myself to the lions, and all they did was throw me away without even a nibble.

THOUGHTS

Silence makes my mind uneasy so I turn up the music and try to cover up my thoughts. It's as if a bomb had gone off in my head and the impact was deafening. The thoughts, I mean. But the music doesn't cover them up. How could it? They are inside, an inside that doesn't open, no visitors are allowed. The music can't reach that far, it can't penetrate into the sealed room. They weren't bad, mind you, but they were there. Annoyance, worry, anger, betrayal, confusion, confession. It was too much to think with but there was so much that I had to think. I had to try and divide them up into something...

SHRANK

My heart shrank along with my hand as I pulled it away from his. The look of complete horror and disgust had consumed his face, causing dread in mine. It wouldn't be the same now, never again.

No.
I don't want to.
I don't want to go back there.
I can't.
Please.
I can't go there again.
It almost destroyed me before.
I wouldn't survive it again.
I don't want to.
I can't.
Please.
No.

SECOND

For just one second
Her head fell, pushing hair in front of the once bright smile. Her frame hung, shoulders slouching under the pressure.
And then the second was gone.

BOOK

This is a book of which I will write as long as have this thought. The thought that nags and makes me dream of something else. You would think this would be a long book then, if I held this thought in such high esteem. But you would be wrong. For I know it is wrong. And that's all I have to say about my book of thought.

WHAT

We had all agreed. The pact was made. But why were we now running? It had been bullet proof. There was nothing lacking from our plan. Well, except for one minor detail. But that’s why we brought him along. We knew it was a risk right from the start, but I don’t think any of us would have imagined this. Now, running through the lengthy corridor I wondered, what happened? What went wrong? To be quite honest, I had no idea. And no thoughts could form in my head but curiosity and sheer panic, as sweat and blood fell down.